Posted on 09 March 2010.
Last night we had a discussion on The Deck regarding inappropriate man on man behaviour. For example, is it ok for a dude to give another dude a massage? Or is it ok to apply sunscreen to your bro’s back? Of course it is, BUT there is a fine line when it comes to all dude on bro activities. The key is not crossing that line.
‘The line’ isn’t always that clear so today we will look at a few activities and I shall highlight which is appropriate, which is not and why. It’ll make your, and your bros life a lot easier.
Eyes front, general banter, no contact – Fine
See how not to cross the inappropriate line after the jump.
Right, let’s start things off with a common dilemma every dude has faced in his life – the application of sunscreen to another guys back. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing this. For one, it’s functional – you are protecting your buddy against possible skin cancer, sunburn and old wrinkly skin. If your wingman got any of the above his chances, and therefore your chances, of hooking up become far less likely.
Now, to illustrate how fine that inappropriate line can be I’ll hit you with this…it is completely inappropriate to apply any form of moisturiser, balm or after-sun to your pals back. This is the sole property of girlfriends, mothers or female strangers in tight bikinis.
Seeing as rubbing in sunscreen is fine what about a massage? Absolutely not. Yes it’s the same thing but with some added pressure, but a dude giving another dude a massage is not ok. Unless, and this needs to be adhered to strictly, your mate pulled a muscle in a bare knuckle boxing match, rescuing his mother, girlfriend or small child from a burning building/wreck/sinking ship, fell down a mountain attempting a mountain biking land speed record, ate it on an 8 foot plus wave, or hurt himself carrying a full 30 litre keg of beer into a party you are attending. Under no other circumstance is it ok to firmly rub another man’s back.
Blatant nakedness around the house. This is a tricky one and a hotly debated point amongst the more homophobic of men out there. Being naked in your own house, the house of a friend, camp site, holiday house, hotel room, sports event or general gathering is completely acceptable providing there is more than one person in the immediate vicinity.
I.e. searching for your jeans around the house while naked is perfectly fine if you have two housemates and they are both home. Blatant nakedness and exhibitionism in the company of one other male is considered a sexual advance and may be treated as assault.
The fixing of another man’s clothing i.e. collar, exposed label, etc. There is nothing wrong with fixing your mates collar, in fact you should. If he looks like a tit it reflects on you. But, under no circumstances can you make eye contact with your bud while correcting his shabby appearance.
Now, onto a few smaller points that I often get questioned on. These are small day to day activities and situations you may find yourself in.
Communal showering. Obviously this is completely acceptable unless you are in an indoor home shower and the bathroom door is closed. Though contact should be avoided, eye contact should never be made and conversation should be kept to that of general banter.
Hugging. There is nothing wrong with a good hug. In fact I’m a strong advocate of the hug. You should hug your mates more often and with more of a squeeze. Throw in a little kiss on the cheek if you feel like it – just make sure it is dry, you don’t linger and there is absolutely NO eye contact.
That pretty much covers the main points a few of you seem to have issues with. I do hope I cleared things up for you. If you have any others mail them through and I’ll gladly address them.
Nash…
Out.
Read More on Bangers and Nash: The Do’s And Don’ts Of Male Male Friendship
